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Hairwoman: Every word Hawthorne wrote, every comma, every paragraph break, these were done on purpose. It is our job to try and figure out what he's really trying to say.Melinda Sordino: [voiceover] Why couldn't he just say what he meant? Would they pin a scarlet letter on his chest? "S" for straightforward?Hairwoman: The house with the chunks of glass in its walls, is a symbol of what? Well, it would reflect, sparkle? Come on people, the house symbolizes...?Rachel Bruin: How do you know that's what he meant to say? I mean, you could just make all that up, it's just a story.Hairwoman: This is Hawthorne, one of America's greatest novelists. And not that it makes any difference but I wrote my dissertation on Hawthorne.Rachel Bruin: Fine, but, I thought we were all supposed to have opinions here. I mean it's a good story especially when Hester and that guy fall in love. But I don't really believe in symbolism. I mean you can just make all that up.Hairwoman: [about to cry] Alright class, I want you all to write a 500 word essay on symbolism. And then... turn it in!Melinda Sordino: [voiceover] Poor Hairwoman. I hope they send her to a conference or something. I'm ready to help pay for a sub.

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    "One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing
    A Socrates
    B Alexander the Great
    C Julius Caesar
    D Aristotle