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Newscaster: Lex Luthor's attempt to win the presidency the old-fashioned way... by buying it, seems to be picking up steam. New poles show that 22% of Americans now support his third party bid. In a completely unrelated story, 22% of Americans now indicate a preference for getting [beep] in the [beep] with a red hot poker!

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    What if my whole life has been wrong?
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