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Ted Whitley: I want a tube-top Venus who undulates my soul... and my shorts. I want a virgin whore who speaks perfect Chinese, and kisses French fluidly. I want a stainless steel boudoir with a velvety throne. I want a golden parakeet to shit on her soul. I want to loofah the pain and hurt from her ivory shoulder blades. I want a woman who's not afraid of making a right turn in a left lane. I want a pizza with all the trimmings. A steak tartar; hold the onions. Velvety images shrink with the rain. I want a drip-dry cunt that can take it again and again and again and again. I want a mast-head with breasts who screams out 'PIERCE ME! STEAL ME!'. Graveyards retch with the stink of one trillion broken hearts. Nobody gets out of here alive. I'll break your neck before you castrate me! Take this and scream out 'PIERCE ME! STEAL ME! SEIZE ME WITH YOUR WHITE HARD STEEL!'.

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Adventure is worthwhile in itself"
    A Christopher Columbus
    B Elizabeth Taylor
    C Amelia Earhart
    D Bear Grylls