Officer Leary: I told him to move on, but he continued to use profanity and he refused to leave the premises.Judge Rayford: What sort of profanity?Officer Leary: You know, the normal kind.Judge Rayford: Officer Leary, we've all heard these words before, now for the record what did he say?Officer Leary: [uncomfortably] He used..."f***" a lot.[quiet laughter from the gallery]Officer Leary: ..."piss on you"...[more laughter]Officer Leary: ...then said he was gonna..."bung-hole the short order chef"..."cream on the waitress"...[more laughter]Officer Leary: ...stuff like that, Your Honor.Dapper Defendant: There's a very good reason for all of that, Your Honor.Judge Rayford: Oh? What is that?Dapper Defendant: I'm a diabetic.[loud laughter from the gallery]Judge Rayford: I fail to see the connection. I've never heard of diabetes causing foul language!Dapper Defendant: That's because you're a douchebag.[entire courtroom erupts into laughter, including Officer Leary before he catches himself and forces a poker face]
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