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Augustus Waters: [on the phone] I cannot stop thinking about this Goddamned book.Hazel Grace Lancaster: You're welcome.Augustus Waters: However, we do need closure, don't you think?Hazel Grace Lancaster: That is exactly what I was asking Van Houten for in my letters.Augustus Waters: But he never responded.Hazel Grace Lancaster: Nope.Augustus Waters: [inhales theatrically] "Dear Mr. Waters. I write to thank you for your electronic correspondence. I am grateful to anyone that sets aside time to read my book."Hazel Grace Lancaster: [sits up excitedly] Augustus?Augustus Waters: Yes?Hazel Grace Lancaster: What are you doing?Augustus Waters: I may have found Van Houten's assistant. E-mailed her.Hazel Grace Lancaster: Augustus!Augustus Waters: She may have forwarded that e-mail onto Van Houten. Shall I continue?Hazel Grace Lancaster: Oh my God, yeah, go go go!Augustus Waters: "I am particularly indebted to you, sir." Hazel Grace, he just called me "sir."Hazel Grace Lancaster: Augustus, keep reading! Keep reading!Augustus Waters: "... both for your kind words about "An Imperial Affliction" and for taking the time to tell me that the book, and here I quote you directly, 'meant a great deal' to you and your friend Hazel Grace'."Hazel Grace Lancaster: [screams excitedly] You did not! No, you did not, you did not, you did not!Augustus Waters: Of course I did. "To answer your question: No, I have not written anything else, nor will I. I do not feel like continuing to share my thoughts with readers would benefit either them or me. However, thank you for your generous e-mail. Yours most sincerely, Peter Van Houten." So yeah, that just happened.Hazel Grace Lancaster: Oh my God!Augustus Waters: I've been trying to tell you, I'm kind of awesome.

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