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Mycroft: [playing a Brigadier inspecting the training camp in response to some private who has 'complained to his MP' regarding the food] [enters Mess Hall] Carry on eating. Any complaints here?Captain Saunders: Come along now. Answer the Brigadier.Other Private in Mess: No, Sir.Mycroft: You're, um, quite satisfied with the food. You can speak quite freely.Chunky Grogan: Well, er, no, Sir. Not always, Sir. [CSM gives a menacing look]Mycroft: What exactly don't you like about it?Chunky Grogan: Well, er, they sometimes give you good grub, sir, but, er, they mess it about like.Mycroft: How do you mean, mess it about?Chunky Grogan: Well, take Sunday, Sir. I mean, er, we had a fair whack of the old roast and that and gravy and stuff, but they messed it about like. You know.Mycroft: Specifically?Chunky Grogan: Beg your pardon sir?Mycroft: What did they do to it?Chunky Grogan: Oh1 Oh, well, I'm not a cook am I? I only go by what I taste, like, and, er, it didn't taste right, see. It sort of tasted like they'd messed it about, like.Mycroft: What's this man's name?Captain Saunders: Mmm?C.S.M.: Grogan, Sir.Mycroft: That's all, is it?Chunky Grogan: Well, that was only last Sunday, sir.Mycroft: What about today's meal?Chunky Grogan: Oh, well, very fair, sir. You know, if you like eggs. I mean, they're not great favourites of mine, but, er, you've gotta eat them to keep your strength up, like.Mycroft: [sucks air through teeth] Yes. [walks off with entourage]Other Private in Mess: [other privates at table congratulate worthy Grogan, clapping him on the back] Well done, Rolly.Chunky Grogan: Well, bleedin' asked me, didn't he?

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