Oscar Madison: Can't you keep it warm?Felix Ungar: Who the hell do you think I am, the Magic Chef? I'm lucky I got it to come out at eight o'clock. Wh-wh-what am I gonna do?Oscar Madison: I dunno, keep pouring gravy on it.Felix Ungar: Gravy? What gravy?Oscar Madison: Don't you have any gravy?Felix Ungar: Where the hell am I gonna get gravy at eight o'clock?Oscar Madison: I dunno, I though it comes when you cook the meat.Felix Ungar: [under his breath] Comes when you cook the meat.[stares at him for a moment]Felix Ungar: You don't know what you're talking about, Oscar. You just don't know, because you have to MAKE gravy, it doesn't come!Oscar Madison: Well, you asked my advice...Felix Ungar: [explodes] Your advice? You didn't even know where this kitchen was until I came hear and showed it to you.Oscar Madison: Listen buddy, if you're going to argue with me, put down that spoon.Felix Ungar: Spoon? Haha, you dumb ignoramus, that is a ladle! You did not know that's a ladle!Oscar Madison: Get a hold of yourself, will ya?Felix Ungar: You think it's so easy? Go ahead, kitchen's yours, all yours, you make a meatloaf for four people who come a half-hour late. Go on.Oscar Madison: I can't believe I'm arguing with him over gravy.Felix Ungar: [doorbell rings] They're here - the dinner guests. I'll get a saw and cut the meat!
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