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[Simpson is talking to the Turkish guards who have arrested him]Arthur Simon Simpson: You frighten me, sir. But, after all, that's part of your job. But if my father could hear you now he'd laugh himself sick. He wasn't no colonel, sir. I just said that in order to make myself seem important. He was a sergeant - acting sergeant - acting unpaid sergeant. And d'you know what he used to say to me? He used to say, "Arthur"... he used to call me Arthur... "Arthur, you're a carbuncle on the behind of humanity." Carbuncle! I'm a nothing! I'm a nobody!

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