Coach Ken O'Brien: Oh, boo-hoo. Oooh, your girlfriend left you. Oooh, your daddy doesn't love you. Well I got news for the both of you. I lost my virginity to a 300 pound Samoan girl named Shirley in the outhouse outside Tuscaloosa, and that was as good as it ever got for me! And my old man put a silver dollar in my hand and a hard hat on my head and kicked me out of the house at the age of 14, telling me it was time to be a man! Now if you're done feeling sorry for yourselves, we've got a game to win.
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