Uncle Jonathan: If it's true, we're ruined. And what's more important, I'm ruined.Martha Canford Chandler: Oh, Uncle Jonathan. Hugo, are you sure he said Abigail?Hugh Inkerfield: Abigail. Your sister Abigail.Martha Canford Chandler: I don't believe it. Abigail is in New York but she'd never do a thing like... like...Aunt Jennifer: He said she sang... in public?Hugh Inkerfield: He said she sang and danced in a low caf? in the Bowery. That's what he said, Aunt Jennifer.Martha Canford Chandler: That's a lie.Aunt Jennifer: If it isn't, we're ruined socially.Grandpa Chandler: Remember when Cousin Harriet ran off with the hurdy gurdy man? Oh, ho ho!Uncle Jonathan: Cousin Harriet did not have an uncle running for mayor of Boston.[Suddenly]Uncle Jonathan: I have it! It's a political plot to ruin my campaign, that's what it is!Aunt Jennifer: I see what it is. It's your rival.Uncle Jonathan: It's that Wetherby. He started this slander.Hugh Inkerfield: He's no gentleman, Uncle Jonathan.Uncle Jonathan: He's a... he's a... Democrat! I'll sue him for libel.Martha Canford Chandler: He should be put in jail!Aunt Jennifer: Oh, I think it's most unfair.Uncle Jonathan: I'll sue him for $100,000. That's what I'll do.Grandpa Chandler: You never can tell. Little Abigail looked just like Cousin Harriet when she was a baby. Why they even said she looked like me!Aunt Jennifer: Why, she does look like Grandpa. I'd forgotten.Grandpa Chandler: You'll never keep Abigail in mothballs, believe me.[He cackles]Uncle Jonathan: Silence!
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