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Doug: All good with Melissa?Stu: Oh, yeah. Told her we're two hours outside of wine country, and she bought it.Phil: Don't you think it's strange that you've been in a relationship for three years, and you still have to lie about going to Vegas?Stu: Yeah, I do. But trust me, it's not worth the fight.Phil: Oh, so you can't go to Vegas, but she can f*** a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line?Stu: Okay. First of all, he was a bartender. And she was wasted. And, if you must know, he didn't even come inside her.Phil: And you believe that?Stu: Uh, yeah, I do believe that, because she's grossed out by semen.

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