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Desk clerk: Swofford. What kind of f***ing name is that?Swofford: It's English. My great-grandfather came here in the 19th century.Desk clerk: Whatever. I'm assigning you to Golf Company. It's full of retards and f***-ups. Maybe you can elevate the sons of bitches a little. [looks up] Or maybe not. NEXT!

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    "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."
    A Franklin Pierce
    B Michael Jackson
    C Kurt Cobain
    D Vincent van Gogh