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[All voice-overs reading the newspaper article] Nick: Nick Naylor, the lead spokesman for big tobacco, would have you believe he thinks cigarettes are harmless, but really he's doing it for the mortgage. Polly: The "M.O.D. Squad"—meaning, of course, "Merchants of Death"—is comprised of Polly Bailey, of the Moderation Council, and Bobby Jay Bliss, of the gun business's own advisory group, S.A.F.E.T.Y. Bobby: As explained by Naylor, the sole purpose of their meetings is to compete for the highest death toll as they compare strategies on how to dupe the American people. Jeff: The film, Message from Sector Six, would emphasize the sex appeal of cigarettes in a way that only floating, nude, copulating Hollywood stars could. Lorne: This did not stop Nick from bribing the dying man with a suitcase of cash to keep quiet on the subject of his recent lung cancer diagnosis. Jill: Nick's own son, Joey Naylor, seems to be being groomed for the job as he joins his father on the majority of his trips.

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    "Not all those who wander are lost."
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