Two-Face: Ladies, you spoil us! We're of two minds about what to eat first. [Riddler enters behind him and loudly drives his cane into the floor] What?! The Riddler: I hope you made extra. Two-Face: Who the hell are you? The Riddler: Just a friend. But you can call me... the Riddler. Two-Face: [grabs Riddler by the collar] We'll call you dead, is more like it! How did you find us here?! Talk! The Riddler: But then if I talked, what would keep you from slaying me, O Segregated One? [looks at Two-Face's disfigurement] By the way, that's never gonna heal if you don't stop picking. Two-Face: [puts pistol to Riddler's head] Let's see if you bleed green! The Riddler: Harvey! [Spice laughs mischievously] I don't think it's me you really want to kill. That'd be too easy for someone as powerful as you... and you. But Batman... [gasps] Now, there's a challenge! Kill the Bat! Sounds like a good idea! [Two-Face feigns modesty] Just think of it, a few bullets hit home, a quick splash of blood, and then what? Wet hands and post-homicidal depression. [feigns whimpering] Why not humiliate him first, expose his frailties, and then when he's at his weakest... CRUSH HIM! [Two-Face chuckles] I can see that... sparkle in your left eye. I can help you get Batman. That is, if you'll... spare my life for just a few moments. Two-Face: [cocks his head in amusement and puts his gun away] Eh... [puts Riddler down] The Riddler: Thank you. I simply love what you've done with the place. Heavy Metal meets House and Garden. [laughs] Splendid! [Takes one of his boxes and puts it on the dark side of the room] It's so dark and gothic and disgustingly decadent [Gestures Spice over with a snarl, then takes a box to the light side]... yet so bright and chipper and conservative! [Urges Sugar over with a whistle] [Back to the dark side; speaking sinisterly] It's so you... [to the light side, speaking operatic] And yet so you! Very few people are both a summer and a winter, but... you pull it off quite nicely. Two-Face: [shoots pistol at the ceiling] What's your point, big boy? The Riddler: Has anybody ever told you you have a SERIOUS IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEM?!?! [Two-Face puts his gun back to Riddler's head] This is the point. [shows brainwave gadget; activates it; camera shows Sugar and Spice being entranced to brainwave machine] This is how I found you. Let me demonstrate. [sticks gadget on Two-Face's forehead; Two-Face feels full power of the machine] This is your brain on the Box! This is my brain on the Box! [sticks gadget on his forehead] DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL LIKE A FRIED EGG?!?! Two-Face: I'll have a bit more, thank you. [he reaches for the gadget, but Riddler pulls it away] The Riddler: Oh, there's more, but only the first one's free. Here's the bargain: you will help me steal production capital, so I can put a Box on every TV in town and become Gotham's cleverest carbon-based lifeform! And in return... [goes to Two-Face] ...is everybody paying attention? I will help you solve the greatest riddle of all. The mother of all riddles! Who is... Batman? Two-Face: Hmm...You have broken into our hideout. You have violated the sanctity of our lair. For this we should crush your bones into powder. However, you do pose a very interesting proposition. [holds up his coin] Therefore, heads, we accept, and tails, we blow your damn head off!

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