Tony: Jess! Fancy a quick game? Jess: I can't. My mum's waiting, and my dad's on earlies at Heathrow. Tony: We really need you! Come on! Come on! [Jess puts down her groceries and does an impressive ball steal, slip past and goal] Football boy 1: Who does she think she is? Beckham or what? Football boy 2: Can we chest it like him? Give it some bounce! Football boy 3: Go on! Chest it! [Jess picks up football and rams it into football boys crotch] Tony: Did that hurt, pretty boy? [Jess is lying in bed in her bedroom talking to poster on ceiling] Jess: I nearly scored from 20 yards today. Bent it and everything. I could have played all night. It's not fair that boys never have to come home and help. If I had an arranged marriage, would he let me play football whenever I wanted to? [Mr. Bhamra bursts into room] Mr. Bhamra: Who are you talking to? Jess: No one, Dad. [Mr. Bhamra sits on Jess' bed] Mr. Bhamra: OK, Biji and her grandson are staying in here for the wedding. Why don't you put up nice picture of beautiful sceneries instead of this bald man? Jess: Dad! Mr. Bhamra: I'm going to change. Come and help me out, Ok? [Jess is serving appetizers at wedding shower] Teetu's friend: ..a beautiful Rolls Royce, you know? I'll get one for your wedding, too, if you like. Old Indian woman 1: It will be your turn soon, eh? Do you want a clean-shaven boy like your sister or a proper Sikh with a full beard and a turban? [Woman grabs Jess as she's about to walk away] It's only our men that have a big engine and full MOT, eh? [Women laughs and Jess walks away unimpressed] [A cellphone rings and everyone checks their cellphones and Teetu realizes it's his] Teetu: Nah, man, the alternator's gone on the Merc! Just do the Nissan. I told you not to bother me! It's my engagement, man! Mr. Bhamra: Switch it off. Switch that thing off. ... [3 girls are sitting on a park bench watching boys play football] Girl 1: He is so tick, man! Girl 2: Innit, innit? I know! Girl 1: He's taking his shirt off! Girl 2:A body like that needs an X certificate warning! Girl 3: And a lifetime guarantee! Girl 1: Yeah, man! Call Jess! Girl 2: Oi! Jess! Girl 1: Who's that with the gorgeous bod? Girl 3: The one with the six-pack. Girl 1: If he looks at me, I really will faint! Jess: What? Taz? Girl 1: Is that his name? Girl 2: Look at that kick! Girl 3: He is so fly! Girls: That is fine. That is so fine! Football boy: Get your girlfriend! Tony: Jess! Girl 1: Go on. Lover boy's calling you! Jess: Oh shut up, you know he's just my mate. We're not all slags like you lot! Girl 1: Ooh! Just 'cause she's still a V man, she thinks she's better than us! Girl 2: At least she hasn't got off with half of Hounslow like you two! Girl 1: Who's that gori watching her? [Jules is sitting on a park bench staring hard at the the boys and Jess playing] Tony: Come on, Jess! It's all yours! [Jules has walked over to the boys and Jess] Jules: That was brilliant! Do you play for any side? Football boy: Yeah, like whose? Southall United Sari Squad? Jules: I play for Hounslow Harriers Girls. You should come and have a trial. Jess: A trial? Think I'm good enough? Jules: Yeah. You're really good. Oh, it's up to our coach, but we could do with some new blood. Jess: That's brilliant! Football boy 1: Do you swap shirts at the end? Football boy 2: And have a bath together? Football boy 3: Where's the soap? Football boy 4: Yeah, it does, doesn't it? [Jules makes a crude gesture and all the boys go silent] Football boy 1: Let's play football. [They walk away]

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