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Janie: Sorry I'm late. Carolyn: No, that's quite all right, dear. Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. [to Lester] Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey? Lester: Janie, today I quit my job. Carolyn: [laughs] Lester: And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus. Carolyn: [laughing] Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of! Lester: And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a Mason jar under the sink. Carolyn: How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job. Lester: I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I quit! Pass the asparagus. Carolyn: Oh! Oh! Oh! And I want to thank you for putting me under the added pressure of being the sole breadwinner now! Lester: I already have a job. Carolyn: No, no, don't give a second thought as to who's gonna pay the mortgage. We'll just leave it all up to Carolyn! You mean you're gonna take care of everything now, Carolyn? Yes. I don't mind, I really don't. You mean everything? You don't mind having the sole responsibility, your husband feels he can just quit his job and you don't-- Lester: [overlapping] Will someone please pass me the fucking asparagus? Jane: [standing] Okay, guys, I'm not gonna be a part of this. Lester: Sit down! [Janie sits. Lester stands up, walks to the other side of the table, picks up the plate of asparagus, then sits back down] I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist. You two do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it, and I don't complain. Now all I want is the same-- Carolyn: [interrupting] Oh, you don't complain? Oh please! Excuse me! Excuse me! I must be psychotic, then! If you don't complain, what is this? [Lester stands with the asparagus plate in his hand] Yeah, let's bring in the laugh-meter and see how loud it gets on that one. You don't compl-- Lester: [throws the asparagus plate at the wall] [Casually looking a stunned Carolyn in the eyes] Don't interrupt me, honey. [sits back down to eat, looking up at the background music in disdain] Oh, and another thing, from now on we're going to alternate our dinner music, because, frankly--and I don't think I'm alone here-- [looks in Jane's direction] I'm really tired of this Lawrence Welk shit!

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