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Harold: Neil, you wouldn't happen to know how to get on the highway from here, would you? Harris: Dude, I don't even know where the fuck I am right now. I was at this party earlier tonight and some guy hooked me up with this incredible "X"--next thing I know I'm being thrown out of a moving car. I've been trippin' balls ever since. Kumar: That's crazy, dude. We've been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We've just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked. Harris: Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. Forget White Castle, let's go get some pussy. Harold: Huh? Harris: It's a fucking sausage fest in here, bros. Let's get some poon-tang. Then we'll go to White Castle. Kumar: No, Neil, you don't understand. We've been craving these burgers all night. Harris: Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too--fur burgers. Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. The Doogie line always works on strippers. [sings] Lap-dance. Kumar: [pause] There's a gas station. I'm gonna see if I can get some directions. Harris: You don't need dir--gah. Hurry up, dudes, hurry up! I'm losing wood. [they park, pause] Harris: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. Kumar: Look, chill. Harold: We'll be right back, Neil. [they exit the car] Harold: Dude, what's the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?

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