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Bilbo: [annoyed] Bebother and confusticate these dwarves! Gandalf: My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter? Bilbo: What's the matter? I am surrounded by dwarves! What are they doing here? Gandalf: Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them. Bilbo: I don't want to get used to them! The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet! They pillaged the pantry. I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing! I don't understand what they're doing in my house! [Ori walks up] Ori: 'Scuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate? Fíli: Here you go, Ori, give it to me. [Fíli takes the plate and tosses it to Kíli, who throws it across the hall; Bifur catches it, while not looking] Bilbo: [mortified] Excuse me! That's my mother's West Farthing pottery, it's over 100 years old! [to the other dwarves clashing the cutlery together] And can you not do that? You'll blunt them! Bofur: Oh, did you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives! Kíli: [singing] Blunt the knives, bend the forks! Fíli: [singing] Smash the bottles and burn the corks! Dwarves: [singing] Chip the glasses and crack the plates... That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! Cut the cloth, tread on the fat! Leave the bones on the bedroom mat! Pour the milk on the pantry floor! Splash the wine on every door! Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl! Pound them up with a thumping pole! And when you're finished, if they are whole... Send them down the hall to roll! That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

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