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[The kids are watching The Dick Van Dyke Show on the television.] Alan Brady: Here it is, Mel, $1,000 worth of hair. What am I supposed to do with it? Melvin Cooley: Alan, I was wondering if... Alan Brady: You want one of them? I'd rather make a coat for my wife. [pokes a head mannequin off the table] Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up! Mrs. Doubtfire: All right, everyone. It's time to expand your minds. It's homework time. OK? Lydia: Yeah, but after Dick Van Dyke. Mrs. Doubtfire: No. Now. [Mrs. Doubtfire turns off TV. Lydia uses remote control to reactivate TV.] Lydia: No. We always watch Dick Van Dyke. [Lydia sets down the remote; Mrs. Doubtfire picks it up.] Mrs. Doubtfire: [calmly] Really? Well? [tosses the remote into the air; it lands behind her in the fish tank] Not anymore. The only thing you'll be watching is Deep CNN. [turns to the kids, who are wide-eyed] Now! I know you're used to loosey-goosey, but I run a much tighter ship. Between the hours of 3 p.m. and 7 p.m., I'm in charge. And when I'm in charge, you will follow a schedule. Those who do not follow the schedule will be punished. Nattie: Punished? Lydia: She's lying. She'd never punish us. Mrs. Doubtfire: [evilly] Don't...fuss with me.

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