Abraham Lincoln: What will you do after the war, Corporal Clark?Cpl. Ira Clark: Work, sir. Perhaps you'll hire me.Abraham Lincoln: Perhaps I will.Cpl. Ira Clark: But you should know, sir, that I get sick at the smell of boot-black, and I cannot cut hair.Abraham Lincoln: I've yet to find a man who could cut mine so's it'd make any difference.Pvt. Harold Green: You've got springy hair for a white man.Abraham Lincoln: (chuckling) I do. My last barber hanged himself. (Green laughs) And the one before that. Left me his scissors in his will.
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