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Edwin Stanton: They cannot possibly maintain under this kind of an assault! Terry's got ten thousand men surrounding the Goddamned fort! Why doesn't he answer my cables?Gideon Welles: Fort Fisher is a mountain of a building, Edwin.Thomas Thompson Eckert: It's the largest fort they have, sir.Gideon Welles: Twenty-two big seacoast guns on each rampart...Thomas Thompson Eckert: They've been reinforcing it for the last two years...Edwin Stanton: They've taken 17,000 shells since yesterday!Thomas Thompson Eckert: They said...Gideon Welles: The commander is an old goat.Edwin Stanton: I want to hear that Fort Fisher is ours and Wilmington has fallen! Send another damn cable! The problem's their commander, Whiting. He engineered the fortress himself. The damned thing's his child; he'll defend it till his every last man is gone. He is not thinking rationally...Abraham Lincoln: Come on out, you old rat! [the room goes silent] That's what...that's what Ethan Allen called out to the commander of Fort Ticonderoga in 1776. 'Come on out, you old rat!' Ah, 'course there were only forty odd redcoats at Ticonderoga. But...but there is one Ethan Allen story that I'm very partial to...Edwin Stanton: No! No, you're, you're going to tell a story! I don't believe that I can bear to listen to another one of your stories right now! [Stanton storms out, shouting to himself] I need the B&O sideyard schedules for Alexandria! I asked for them this morning! I don't care how long it takes!Abraham Lincoln: It was right after the Revolution, right after peace had been concluded. And Ethan Allen went to London to help our new country conduct its business with the king. The English sneered at how rough we are and rude and simple-minded and on like that, everywhere he went, till one day he was invited to the townhouse of a great English lord. Dinner was served, beverages imbibed, time passed as happens and Mr. Allen found he needed the privy. He was grateful to be directed to this. [pours himself another cup of coffee] Relieved, you might say. [slight laughter] Mr. Allen discovered on entering the water closet that the only decoration therein was a portrait of George Washington. Ethan Allen done what he came to do and returned to the drawing room. His host and the others were disappointed when he didn't mention Washington's portrait. And finally his lordship couldn't resist and asked Mr. Allen had he noticed it. The picture of Washington. He had. Well what did he think of its placement? Did it seem appropriately located to Mr. Allen? And Mr. Allen said it did. The host was astounded. [mocking British accent] "Appropriate? George Washington's likeness in a water closet?" "Yes," said Mr. Allen, "where it will do good service. The whole world knows nothing will make an Englishman shit quicker than the sight of George Washington." [louder laughter] I love that story.

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