List of voters for the quote

Ted: Shit. I can never get a signal in your apartment. Hey, can I use your laptop? John: Yeah, go ahead. Ted: Okay, thanks. [slides off the couch and walks into another room, then five seconds later, offscreen, yelling in shock] WHAT THE FUCK?! John: Holy shit, dude! What's the matter?! What happened?! What's going on?! Ted: [views John's laptop] There's so much porn! John: Well, what the hell are you doin' lookin' at my private shit?! Ted: What are you talking about, "private shit"?! Johnny, it was wide open! There are literally thousands of files here! John: Well, I've been meanin' to clear some of that out! Ted: Jesus Chri--! Look at the organization here! "Clockwise Rim Job"? "Counter-clockwise Rim Job"? John: Yeah, well, sometimes you like seein' the tongue go the other way! Ted: You sick bastard! Look at this! "Chicks With Dicks"?! John: [breaks down] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I have a disease, all right?! I need help! Ted: There are no chicks with dicks, Johnny! Only guys with tits! John: Well, this is such a relief! You know, I'm so glad I'm finally caught! I wanted to be caught! Ted: Johnny, now you listen to me. This is a wake-up call, all right? You gotta get back out there, and meet somebody, because you are spiraling outta control here. John: All right, all right. I will. Fine. Just stop lookin' at that shit, please! Ted: Johnny, I mean it, all right? The next chick you meet, you are gettin' back in the game. John: Fine. I got it. Done. Ted: All right. Now let's get rid of this. John: What, what do you mean? We'll just delete the files. Ted: No, no, no, no. That shit can always be recovered. We gotta smash your laptop with a hammer. [they smash John's laptop outside with a hammer and a crowbar] John: All right, there, you happy? Ted: No, the circuits could still be reconstructed if somebody worked at it. We gotta bury it in the harbor. [he and John bury the pieces of the laptop, contained within a plastic bag, in the harbor] Ted: Okay. We'll come back once every three months, take a dive, and check on it.

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