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Eddie: Hey, my Great Uncle was in the Great War Richie: What do mean 'Great War', there aren't any great wars, they're all frightful Eddie: Alright he was in the crap war! Richie: Wow! The crap war! Far out! Which side was he on? Eddie: Both Richie: Wow! Eddie: Well it depended on which diretion he was facing at the time y'know. Had an incy wincy little bit of a drink problem. He took out a machine-gun nest single-handly! Richie: Did he? Eddie: But they made him bring it back, he was trying to flog it to the Germans Richie: Hey, wasn't he the last bloke shot before the Armistace? Eddie: Yes, that's right. Just fired off a few rounds in celebration but... stupid twat had his gun the wrong way round. Oh, they don't make 'em like Great Uncle Susan anymore. Richie: That's marvellous stuff Eddie, but, what the f***'s it got to do with anything?

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    "Time spent with cats is never wasted." is widely attributed to?
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