[Inmates are working on the roof of the prison plate factory spreading tar; as they are, Byron Hadley is talking to some of the other guards] Byron Hadley: So, this big-shot lawyer calls me long-distance from Texas. I say, "Yeah?" He says, "Sorry to inform you, but your brother just died." Youngblood: Oh, damn. Byron, I'm sorry to hear that. Byron Hadley: I'm not. He was an asshole. Ran off years ago. Figured him for dead anyway. So anyway, this lawyer fellow says to me, "Your brother died a rich man. Oil wells and shit. Close to a million bucks. Trout: A million bucks? Byron Hadley: Yeah, fuckin' incredible how lucky some assholes get. Trout: Jeez-Louise, you gonna see any of that? Byron Hadley: Thirty-five thousand. That's what he left me. Trout: Dollars? Byron Hadley: Yup. Trout: Holy shit! That's great! That's like winning the sweepstakes! Isn't it? Byron Hadley: Dumb shit, what you think the government's gonna do to me? Take a big, wet bite out of my ass is what. Heywood: Poor Byron. Terrible fuckin' luck, huh? Red: Crying shame. Some people really got it awful. [Red glances over to see Andy looking in the guards' direction, listening to them talk] Andy, are you nuts? Keep your eyes on your mop, man! Trout: [continues talking to Hadley] Well, all right. You're gonna pay some tax, but you'll still end up... Byron Hadley: Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe enough to buy a new car, and then what? I gotta pay tax on the car. Repair, maintenance, goddamn kids pestering you to take them for a ride all the time. Then at the end of the year, you figure the tax wrong, you gotta pay 'em out of your own pocket. I tell you, Uncle Sam. He puts his hand in your shirt and squeezes your tit till it's purple. [Andy, still listening, starts walking in Hadley's direction.] Red: Andy. Andy! Floyd: Gettin' himself killed. Heywood: Keep tarrin'. Byron Hadley: Some brother. Shit. Youngblood: [sees Andy approaching, points and cocks his rifle] Hey! Andy: Mr. Hadley, do you trust your wife? Byron Hadley: [pulls out his baton] Oh, that's funny. You're gonna look funnier suckin' my dick with no teeth. Andy: What I mean is, do you think she'd go behind your back, try to hamstring you? Byron Hadley: That's it. Step aside, Mert, this fucker's having himself an accident! [Hadley grabs Andy by the collar of his shirt and begins dragging him towards the edge of the roof.] Heywood: He'll push him off the roof! Andy: Because if you do trust her, there's no reason you can't keep that thirty-five thousand! Byron Hadley: [stops, holding Andy over the edge of the roof] What did you say? Andy: Thirty-five thousand. Byron Hadley: Thirty-five thousand? Andy: All of it. Byron Hadley: All of it?! Andy: Every penny. Byron Hadley: You better start making sense. Andy: If you want to keep all that money, give it to your wife. The IRS allows a one-time-only gift to your spouse for up to sixty-thousand. Byron Hadley: Bullshit! Tax free? Andy: Tax free. IRS can't touch one cent. Byron Hadley: You're that smart banker what killed his wife, aren't you? Why should I believe a smart banker like you? So I can wind up in here with you? Andy: It's perfectly legal, go ask the IRS; they'll say the same thing. Actually, I feel stupid telling you this. I'm sure you would've investigated the matter yourself. Byron Hadley: Yeah, fuckin' A'! I don't need no smart, wife-killin' banker to tell me where the bear shit in the buckwheat! Andy: Of course not. But you do need someone to set up the tax-free gift for you. That'll cost you. A lawyer, for example. Byron Hadley: Bunch of ball-washing bastards! Andy: Right. I suppose I could set it up for you. That would save you some money. If you get the forms, I'll prepare them for you, nearly free of charge. I'd only ask three beers apiece for each of my co-workers. Trout: [chuckles] "Co-workers"! Get him! That's rich, ain't it? Andy: I think a man working outdoors feels more like a man if he can have a bottle of suds. That's only my opinion... sir. Byron Hadley: [turns to the other inmates] What are you jimmies starin' at?! Back to work! Heywood: Let's go, work! [The inmates resume their work. Hadley glares back at Andy but says nothing and releases his grip on him and pushes him back towards the others.]

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