Sgt. Pat Mounder: Are you playin' mental games with me, maggot?Private Pontle: No, sir!Sgt. Pat Mounder: Am I playing mental games with you, maggot?Private Pontle: I really don't know. I-I really don't know, sir! [sobbing]Sgt. Pat Mounder: Do I look like I'm playing mental games? Look me in the eye. What do you see in there?[Pontle and Sgt. Pat Mounder look at each other while talking in their own minds]Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] God, I hope he can't really see inside me -- How fragile I am...how I can only fell big by belittling others...how I'd crumble were I not held whole by his fear of me. Can he tell that I'm the real maggot?Private Pontle: [thinking] Hey, now I'm not gonna let you beat yourself up like that.Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] Wait. How did -- I can hear your voi--Private Pontle: [thinking] Shh! It's okay. I genuinely respect you, not because of your performance of masculinity, but in spite of it.Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] But...I'm toxic trash. Private Pontle: [thinking] You know, what I see behind all your emotional armor? A real cool cookie.Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] For real?Private Pontle: [thinking] Triple sugar shine real, real.Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] I've waited my whole life to hear someone tell me that. Now that it happened, why do I still feel so alone inside?Private Pontle: [thinking] You're not alone. I'm in there with you. You're my tough little guy, okay? Who's my tough little guy?Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] I am.Private Pontle: [thinking] I can't hear you.Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] I-I'm your tough little guy!Private Pontle: [thinking] Louder!Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] I'm your tough little guy! God, I feel so appreciated for the first time. How can I ever thank you, guy?Private Pontle: [thinking] How 'bout, uh, maybe...I don't know...a...a little kiss? Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] Oh. That's not what I...that -- That would make me uncomfortable.Private Pontle: [thinking] After all I've done for you? One quick little kiss inside of our minds? No one has to know.Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] Um, okay. Um, well, o-okay, just...just one.[smooches]Private Pontle: [thinking] That wasn't so bad, was it?Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] I guess not.Private Pontle: [thinking] Gimme a little more. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] This is all happening so fast.[growling]Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] What was that?Private Pontle: [thinking] Be still, my cookie. This'll be over quick. [Pontle consciously eats the General's face]Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] Where'd I go? Where am I?Private Pontle: [thinking] You're in the realm of love eternal. Isn't it beautiful?Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] I-I don't know.Private Pontle: [thinking] Just kidding. You're in my tummy.Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] It's beautiful.Private Pontle: [thinking] Oh, boy. I gotta go to the bathroom.[Pontle then bring back his face by consciously pooping him out]Sgt. Pat Mounder: [thinking] I feel like you're taking advantage of me, Private.Private Pontle: [thinking] Aw, that's all in your head. Which reminds me -- I-I forgot to wipe. Hang on.[Pontle wipes his own butt of poop which transfers to Sergeant's eybags]Private Pontle: [thinking] Well, we better get back to it before the guys notice anything. And don't you dare squeal about what I done did to you.[Pontle and Sgt. Pat Mounder came back to reality after the whole mind conversation]Sgt. Pat Mounder: Well, do I look like I'm playing mental games, maggot?!Private Pontle: No, sir! You're not, I swear!Sgt. Pat Mounder: Then answer this question, maggot -- Why do you treat me like dirt when all I ever wanted was to bask in the light of your love?! [sobbing]

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