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Santa Claus: How about a nice, uh... football? Ralphie: [As narrator] Football? What's a football? Without conscious will my voice squeaked out "football". Santa Claus: Okay, get him out of here. Ralphie: [As narrator] A football!? Oh, no! What was I doing!? Wake up, stupid! Wake up! Ralphie: [As child] NO! [climbs back up exit slide] No, no; I want an official Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot-range model air rifle! [smiles hopefully at Santa] Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid. Merry Christmas. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ralphie: [smile fades to shock as Santa pushes Ralphie down the exit slide] NOOOOOO!!

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