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[Michael is riding a skiff taxi on the river to visit Patricia and is dipping a handkerchief in the water too cool himself off] Skiff piloter: Nah, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Michael: Oh, and why not?! [Feels things biting his hand]] Oh! [He pulls it out to discover piranhas chomping on fingers and handkerchief and starts stomping at the fish] Skiff piloter: [They arrive at the Pinare indigenous village] Lipo Lipo. So nice they named it twice. Michael: Oh, my God. She left me for Gilligan's Island! [Boat is beached and Michael gets out] Great. I'll be right back. Skiff piloter: Not long. I have an appointment. Michael: You have an appointment? Well, if it's the cable guy, you got plenty of time. [To children] Okay. Hi, um.. I'm.. I'm Michael Cromwell. I'm looking for Patricia Cromwell. You know Patricia Cromwell? She's a doctor. No, a woman. Like me, but, but... full-figured. Lipo Lipo children: Paliku. Paliku. Michael: Pali who? Lipo Lipo children: Paliku. Paliku? Michael: Where is she? Lipo Lipo children: Paliku. Paliku! Paliku! Michael: [Children bringing Michael to Patricia] Yes, I heard you. Okay, okay. [Michael enters hut and Patricia appears] Patricia. Mmm. You look different. Patricia: Michael. You made it. Michael: Um, yes, I did. [Patricia speaks Pinare to a man leaving checkup] Michael: You look good. Patricia: So do you. How've you been? Michael: Better. Much better. Weren't you supposed to meet me in Canaima last night? Patricia: Botako's having her first litter. Michael: [To a heavy set mature adult Pinare woman] Congratulations. Patricia: Not her. [Referring to Pinare woman] This is Pontspie. Pontspie, [Gestures to Michael and speaks Pinare to Pontspie] Michael: Mmm. Patricia: [Refers to sow giving birth] This is Botako. Michael: As much as I hate to spoil this joyous event, I took an airplane from New York City! I have a boat waiting! You remember the divorce?! Patricia?! [Pontspie speaks Pinare in a sexual tone to Michael] Michael: Patricia! Patricia: Paliku. My Pinare name is Paliku. We pick our own names here. Michael: Do you remember 12, 13 years ago, maybe, when out of the blue, we weren't even married a year, and you walked out on me! Patricia: And now you want a divorce, and you think I'm gonna hit you up for money. Michael: We both want a divorce, and aren't you? Patricia: I don't want any money. Michael: Great! We can get to Caracas now. That way we can sign divorce papers. I can be back in New York by Friday. Patricia: Tomorrow is the Fanenteyou celebration. I have to be here. [Holds up piglet] Ooh. It's a male! Pontspie: Ay! Michael: As much as I'd like to stick around for the circumcision, I've got a canoe waiting, and my boatman has an appointment. [Children peak heads in and announce the boatman's departure] Patricia: Your boatman is gone. Michael: What?! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Tell him to stop! Skiff piloter: [Taking off] Hasta la vista! Michael: Hey, stop! You can't leave me here! What you're doing is very unprofessional! [Notices the villagers are going through his luggage and scattering them] Oh, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Come back here! Hey, hey, hey! I'm gonna need all these clothes back, right where they came from, all right? [Grabs electric clippers] Aw, this is a Braun! What about my boat?! Patricia: He'll be back. Couple of days. Michael: Wh.. What am I supposed to do now? Patricia: The chief says you can spend the night with the bachelors. Michael: I'm not staying with the bachelors. Patricia: Or Pontspie offered her hut. [Pontspie uses piglet front leg to wave to Michael] Michael: Mm-mmm. Bring on the bachelors.

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