[Evil President Stan gets a message from an agent]Preschool Girl: What's wrong, Mr. President?Evil President Stan: Someone is destroying the Rocky Mountains.Evil President Stan: Most likely with dirtified nuclear bombs.Preschool Girl: Are we going to die?Evil President Stan: Some of you. The lucky ones. The rest will likely become irradiated zombie monsters. You'll indiscriminately eat the brains of the people you once called friends and family.Preschool Kids: [crying]Evil President Stan: STOP YOUR SOBBING. We're distributing cyanide caplets, take them at your leisure. They've been made into fun shapes like dinosaurs and rainbows.
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