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Jean Girard: Eh, everybody, this is my 'usband, Gregory. [Everyone gasps, and someone drops their beer]Gregory: [waves] See you at the track!Cal: Did he just say "husband"?Herschell: Sweet Lord! Dennit hired a gay Frenchman as your teammate!Ricky Bobby: The room's startin' to spin real fast... cause of... cause of the gayness. Cal, I love you. [Ricky faints]Cal Naughton, Jr.: Ricky? Ricky! Oh, God![The scene fades to black, then cuts to the middle of a SPEED Channel broadcast]Bob Jenkins: ...But you know fans of NASCAR; the drivers; everybody is talking about this new driver Jean Girard. Let's find out a little more about him from our reporter Davey Wesling.Davey Wesling: Talented. Eccentric. Dominating. These are the words that define Jean Girard. [clips of Girard tending to his horses are shown] Before each race, Jean Girard spends time with his world-class horses, who are also gay. [changes to clips of Girard with Gregory] Jean's days are filled with sun-drenched walks with his beloved husband Gregory. [cuts to Gregory training six German Shepherds to balance on each other] Though Gregory is no stay-at-home spouse: He's a world-class trainer of German Shepherds! Only time will tell if Jean's foray into NASCAR will end up in victory lane. [The SPEED anchors are dumbstruck]

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    Who said: "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"
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    C Lauren Bacall
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