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Withnail: You've had an audition. Why can't I have an audition? It's ridiculous. I've been to drama school. I'm good-looking. I tell you, I've a f*** sight more talent than half the rubbish that gets on television. Why can't I get on television?Marwood: Well, I don't know. It'll happen.Withnail: Will it? That's what you say. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news.

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