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Bethany: What exactly brought you to Illinois? Jay: Some f*** named John Hughes. Bethany: "Sixteen Candles" John Hughes? Jay: You know that guy, too? See, all these movies take place in a small town called Shermer, in Illinois, where all the honies are top-shelf, but all the dudes are whiny pussies - except for Judd Nelson, he was f***in' harsh - but best of all, there was no one dealin', man; then, it hits me: we could live like phat rats if we were the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinois. So we collected some money we were owed, and we caught a bus. You know what the f*** we found out when we got there? There is no Shermer in Illinois. Movies are f***in' bullshit.

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