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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy Jesus! What is that? What the f*** is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE PYLE? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: A jelly doughnut? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How did it get here? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Private Pyle? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: And why not, Private Pyle? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle! Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then why did you try to sneak a jelly doughnut in your foot locker, Private Pyle? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I was hungry, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you were hungry... Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored his platoon. I have tried to help Private Pyle. I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle f***s up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU! And the way I see it, ladies, you owe me for ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT! NOW, GET DOWN ON YOUR FACES! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Open your mouth! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: They're payin' for it; YOU eat it!

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