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George Carlin: One time I fed Tippy Cracker-Jacks. 'Cause that's what I was having. Hey, sounded like a good meal to me. Cracker-Jacks and tap water. She ate about a box-and-a-half, Cracker-Jack. And the next day I took her for a walk...she took a Cracker-Jack! Cracker-Jack was coming out of my dog! I was waiting for the surprise, you know? Hoping it wasn't a whistle or a bird call! There's certain basic hygiene that you simply have to follow.

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    Who said: "When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let it go."
    A Tobias Wolff
    B Abraham Lincoln
    C Carol Burnett
    D C. S. Lewis