Officer Kornblau: So what's your name?
Albert: A-Albert. A-Albert Smith.
Officer Lack: Albert, your mother and father weren't by any chance brother and sister, were they?
Albert: Hey man, what's gon' happen to me?
Officer Kornblau: Oh, nothing. Uh, wel-nothing much, uh... you might have to endure a little session with, uh, Action Jackson.
Albert: Wh-who's Axon...?
Officer Lack: *Action*, Albert. *Action Jackson*.
Officer Kornblau: Yeah, some say he didn't even have a mother. That some researchers at NASA created him to be the first man to walk on the moon without a space suit.
Officer Lack: Mm-hmm.
Officer Kornblau: Others say his mother was molested by Bigfoot and, uh, Jackson is their mutant offspring.
Officer Lack: They bring in Jackson when they want to re-educate some young ne'er-do-well such as yourself, Albert.
Officer Kornblau: Yeah, I remember one kid got re-educated so bad, his testicles climbed back up into his belly. Wouldn't come out.
Officer Lack: They called it a medical miracle.
Officer Kornblau: Yeah. Another kid, handcuffed to a chair; gnawed his own hand off like a trapped skunk, or wolverine, or somethin'.
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