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Brucey Madison: Mom was married three times. You were married one time, and then never again for thirty years. Hers were too many, yours were not enough. So, tell me, what is wrong with it? What is it about marriage that frightens everybody so much? Oscar Madison: I don't know, Brucey. It's like baseball, either you can play or you can't play. Your mother could play, I couldn't play. Trouble with your mother was she kept getting traded all the time.

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