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Giacomo Casanova: Now you see the puzzle is, if I were married to Henriette, and separated by hundreds of miles, I'd do anything to be with her. To hell with the job, I'd resign, I'd walk barefoot. Yet you seem decidedly static, why is that? I don't suppose you're having problems? In the marital bed, perhaps? Dare I suggest on your side of the bed. Bit of trouble with the old... [whistles] If you need advice, I'm very good.Grimani: How could you possibly advise me? You're a con-man, I'm an ambassador. I have a wife, you have whores. I have children, you have a bastard.Giacomo Casanova: Look, if you want a measuring contest I'll drop my pants right now and I'll win.Grimani: You talk like a pervert.Giacomo Casanova: No, I'm just not scared of what's down there, that's all. Tell me, is cock fighting illegal in this country? 'Cause that's what this is.Grimani: You sound more in love with men than women.Giacomo Casanova: Men I understand. I know what men think about, all day long. Those stupid little inches, driving you mad every waking hour. I know exactly what's going on in your head. Is it big? Is it big enough? Is it hard enough, will it work every time on demand; cause that's the only thing, that is the only bastard question - am I any good in bed? Is every other man better than me? Is every other man bigger and faster and slower and longer and deeper and harder - what am I doing wrong? How do I find out, cause no one ever talks about it, no one ever says. How can I ever find out what I'm doing wrong? [pause] Ask me.

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