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Steve Taylor: There are three things all men should know, and it's time you did too. You're never going to be famous, you're fatter than you think, and, most important of all, they don't keep wearing stockings.Jeffrey 'Jeff' Murdock: Julia always wears stockings. No, really! She's always worn them. She always will. She told me. [Steve and Patrick chuckle] In fact, Julia told me she...Steve Taylor, Patrick Maitland: [finishing with him]... prefers wearing stockings.Jeffrey 'Jeff' Murdock: What?Steve Taylor: Stockings aren't real, Jeff. They're a myth.Jeffrey 'Jeff' Murdock: Stockings are real. I've seen 'em.Steve Taylor: Oh, sure there are SOME stockings out there, but... there's... what? Ten pairs in the whole world?Patrick Maitland: Ten, at most.Steve Taylor: Ten pairs for all the women in the world. They share 'em out. [Speaking in a woman's voice] Oh, Julia! Y'got a new boyfriend? Your turn with the stockings then, but we'll need them back on Tuesday. There's an anniversary in New Zealand.Jeffrey 'Jeff' Murdock: Tuesday?Steve Taylor: The stockings will go, Jeff. They'll just melt away.

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