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Professor: [Daria is daydreaming about her future college life] Daria, I know it's only the first week of freshmen year, but I wonder if you'd consider transferring to the graduate school.Daria: I'm not really sure I want to be a professional student.Professor: But I don't want you to study. I want you to teach.Daria: Well...Professor: Not here, of course. On our Paris campus.Daria: Oh! Okay.Professor: Superb! Now I can use your dorm room to carry on affairs with some of the more beautiful undergraduates. Thank you!Daria: How come, even in my fantasies, everyone's a jerk?

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