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Andy Millman: I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing. This is not the comedy I set out to do - I wanted to write summat... REAL, that people could relate to, and it's all changed, because people have stuck their nose in.Agent: Yeah, I'm hearing you, all right. But do you know what? This is typical first-night nerves. I know what you're thinking - you're thinking "oh, the script's not funny, it's lowest common denominator," and - you know - you're right. But don't worry about it! Because people will watch anything, all right? Particularly if it's after EastEnders and they haven't got to change the channel. Those sort of morons will help us win the ratings war. And, uh, you know, ratings in the end are what count. And merchandise.

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