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[first lines]Niles: So I just had to get out of the house. Maris' Junior League is rehearsing their spring musicale. This year, they're doing "Cats". For the past week and a half I've been watching two dozen underweight, tightly-pulled women in leotards crawling around the music room meowing. I'm telling you, Frasier, my allergies are acting up.Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, Niles, I think you're exaggerating.Niles: No, no, really. You have no idea how vivid the experience is. As God is my judge, I swear Mrs. Presley Bismouth was scent-marking the divan.Dr. Frasier Crane: God, you'd think women of that age would choose more suitable material. You remember the last show they did, "The Sound of Music"? My God! Half the von Trapp children were having hot flashes.

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