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Orson Pig: The blue team starts honking like geese until the red team does 30 pushups or sits in three banana cream pies, whichever occurs first. The players start looking at each other. Play begins when the two captains toss a baked potato in the air. If it lands sour cream down, the game is immediately canceled and all players must immediately move to Scottsdale, Arizona and open a dry-cleaning business. Roy, who's been listening, dashes off to laugh at them. The second inning cannot start until everyone puts on a bow tie and the captain of the blue team locates a live hippopotamus. The red team gets 11 points for every vegetable they impersonate while the blue team builds a statue of Arnold Schwarzenegger out of coleslaw, and for six points, dress up like a cupcake and locate the Klopman diamond and...

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