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[opening monologue]Becky's Inner Voice: I, Becky Faye Jackson, am the hottest bitch at McKinley High School. I'm not only co-captain of the Cheerios!, I'm president of the Perfect Attendance Club and I've won a participation award in rhythm gymnastics. You may be wondering why I sound like the Queen of England. It's simple: in my mind, I can sound like whomever I want, so lay off, haters. Okay, let's get reals. I could easily snag any dude east of the Mississippi, but I'm extremely picky. [looks at Rory] For instance, Rory grins too much. He looks like an insane person. [looks at Puck] Is that a mohawk, Puckerman, or did someone glue a squirrel to your head? No Chang do. I'm no rice queen. [looks at Artie] Now that's more like it: sweet, sexy and handi-capable like me, with a voice as velvety as my favorite Sunday church dress. It's decided: Artie Abrams, you're my new boyfriend.

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