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Kirstie: [a family was trapped in their house for two hours by a badger outside] This badger chased this little boy 200 yards down the road. He got home, slammed the door in the badger's face and...Paul Merton: [cutting her off] And the badger shot through the catflap. Overpowered the little boy. When the mother got home, the badger overpowered her and took over her identity. She's tied up in the cellar. The husband comes home, bit pissed, sees a figure in the bed wearing a neglige, thinks 'Hello, is it Friday night already?' And before he knows where he is...[Paul has to pause at this point, as host John Humphries is laughing so hard]Paul Merton: ...then, he turns on the light and thinks "Oh my gawd, I've just f***ed a badger!"

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Who steals my purse steals trash; But he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him and makes me poor indeed."
    A Marcus Aurelius
    B Othello
    C lincoln
    D Julius Caesar