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Barney Stinson: Every woman wants a date on Valentine's Day. That neediness reaches its climax - what up - on February 13th. A magical night, when a 10 has the self esteem of a 4, and the depraved enthusiasm of a 2. Now, there's only one thing you can't do.Robin Scherbatsky: Please say "widows."Barney Stinson: Wherever you are, or whoever you're under, you must get home alone by 11:59 p.m. Otherwise, you're on a date on Valentine's Day.Robin Scherbatsky: Barney, Desperation Day assumes that all single women freak out about Valentine's Day.Which we do not. Case in point: I will be spending February 13 with some lovely single ladies from work...Barney Stinson: [Interrupts] Trolls.Robin Scherbatsky: ...who could care less about Valentine's Day.Barney Stinson: Lying trolls.Robin Scherbatsky: And we will be celebrating the fact that we don't have to spend it with some dippy guy carting around roses and stuffed toys all night. Oh, no offense, Ted.Ted Mosby: And none was taken until just then.

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