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Barney Stinson: I only smoke on certain occasions: post-coital, when I'm with Germans - sometimes the two overlap - coital, that time of year the Mets are mathematically eliminated, pre-coital, and - wait for it, 'cause I sure have - pregnancy scares.Ted Mosby: Why are you smoking now?Barney Stinson: I'm always pre-coital, Ted.

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