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Stuart: I'm queer. I'm gay. I'm homosexual. I'm a poof, I'm a poofter, I'm a ponce. I'm a bum-boy, batty-boy, backside-artist bugger. I'm bent. I *am* that arse bandit, I *lift* those shirts. I'm a faggot-assed, fudge-packin', shit-stabbin' uphill gardener. I dine at the downstairs restaurant, I dance at the other end of the ballroom. I'm Moses and the parting of the red cheeks. I f*** and I'm f***ed. I suck and I'm sucked. I rim them and wank them, and every single man's had the f***in' time of his life. And I am *not* a pervert.

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