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Ted Mosby: Look, I've never told you guys this, but over the years, a few of my old high-school buddies have asked me to give wedding toasts; and they've haven't... gone... great. Somehow those weddings all fell smack-dab in the worst moments of my life.Ted Mosby: [Flashback to wedding 2008] Joel and Nora's love is a beautiful thing. I thought I had that, til my fiance left me at the alter last week. [Starts crying] I was asked not to talk about this, so I won't. [Crying] I sit outside her house at night sometimes. She got a haircut. [keeps crying]Ted Mosby: [Wedding, 2009] After I lost my job last week, I was asked not to give this toast [Someone tries to wrestle the mic away from Ted] No, no! [guy sits back down] The happy couple needs to hear this. Things end. [Tearing up] But from the ashes of your statistically probable divorce hope can rise anew. That is why I am starting my own architecture firm: Mosbius Designs.Ted Mosby: [Wedding, three months later] Mosbius Designs has failed. But Alex and Jessica's love reminds us that... that [starts crying] Oh god... [Cries uncontrollably]Punchy: [See punchy filming and laughing] Classic Schmosby.

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