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[Alan is being shown around a new house]Estate Agent: Living room.Alan Partridge: Oh, I like this. Yes. Certainly enough room to swing a cat in here, isn't there?Estate Agent: Could swing a tiger in here, really!Alan Partridge: You could, couldn't you, yes. Wouldn't want to, though. Not unless it had been stunned. Even then it's going to weigh the best part of a ton.

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