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Squiggy: Can we borrow your sheets?Laverne De Fazio: Oh God, no.Shirley Feeney: Why do you wanna borrow our sheets?Squiggy: Well, we have a couple of gorgeous chickaroonies coming over tonight for dinner and crackers, and we kind of like to get to first base with them.Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: We figure some clean sheets will bring 'em over the old goal line.Laverne De Fazio: What's the matter with your own sheets?Squiggy: They're hard. [Laverne and Shirley show shocked and disgusted reactions]

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