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Father Francis Mulcahy: Me, advertise? Huh! I can think of better ways of spending two dollars.Cpl. Maxwell 'Max' Q. Klinger: It's not spending. It's investing. With the flock that's gonna come flocking in, you'll need a duffel bag for a collection plate.Father Francis Mulcahy: Oh, very well, Klinger. I'll take the ad.Cpl. Maxwell 'Max' Q. Klinger: Terrific.Father Francis Mulcahy: Always willing to help an enterprising young man get a start.Cpl. Maxwell 'Max' Q. Klinger: I got the whole thing beautifully designed in my head. I'll tell you how it comes out.Father Francis Mulcahy: Won't I be able to see it?Cpl. Maxwell 'Max' Q. Klinger: You want to see it! Oh, foolish me. I completely forgot to mention subscriptions.Father Francis Mulcahy: Subscriptions?Cpl. Maxwell 'Max' Q. Klinger: Glad you asked. Because I like you, I'm instituting a man-of-the-cloth discount. My special pearly rates: two dollars a month or twenty-five dollars a year.Father Francis Mulcahy: All right! All right, all right. Here's another two dollars.Cpl. Maxwell 'Max' Q. Klinger: Thank you, Father. One more dollar, and we're even.Father Francis Mulcahy: What? I thought you said two dollars a month!Cpl. Maxwell 'Max' Q. Klinger: That's for subscriptions. Now I gotta raise the advertising rate. Circulation just doubled.Father Francis Mulcahy: Klinger, how would you like to see your circulation cut off?Cpl. Maxwell 'Max' Q. Klinger: Wonderful. See? Another satisfied customer.Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Congratulations. You've just committed a very original sin.

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